Nonnon’s avatar is a blonde elf. A beauty with an outstanding figure, and her job is priest. I’m a warrior, and we always hunt in pairs.
[Sorry for the wait, Darling. Where are we going today?]
[I want to go to the castle.]
[Castle conquest, huh? You’re really motivated. For pair hunting, that’s the most difficult location. Let’s prepare properly before going. Oh yeah, I found some good-looking equipment at a stall. It’s enchanted so it’s pricey, but the defense is high and it looked really good. I couldn’t buy it because I’m broke though.]
[Is that a request? I’ll get you a present when I have the money.]
[I love that about you. I super love you.]
After exchanging words as usual, we prepared thoroughly and headed out to hunt.
We hunted while chatting enjoyably. Playing for a long time after so long made me feel tired, but I felt like the recent stress had been relieved.
[Good work.]
[Good work. We earned a lot today, huh?]
After the hunt ended, we returned home.
Nonnon and I live in a small house nestled in the forest. It’s not a luxurious house, but it’s one we saved up money together to buy.
[The hunt’s over, so let’s talk.]
[Yeah. We need to divide up the loot too.]
While dividing the loot, we engaged in idle chatter.
Actually, enjoying the game wasn’t my only purpose today. I had a certain goal.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and typed.
[Nonnon, I have something I need to consult you about.]
[What’s up?]
[I need to pursue a girl in real life. I want you to hear me out, Nonnon. And if possible, I’d like some advice.]
My goal. To get advice on somehow dealing with the younger Hikawa.
After I sent the chat, there was a brief pause.
[What do you mean by “pursue”?]
[I mean ‘wooing’ her.]
[You cheater!]
Nonnon stood up and started whacking me with her staff.
Since she’s a priest, it doesn’t do any damage at all, but I was shocked by Nonnon’s action.
[This is totally cheating. Darling already has Nonnon. I don’t get it. If you keep saying stupid things, I’ll purify you!]
[C-calm down. I’m not undead, so you can’t purify me.]
[Shut up!]
I tried to reason with her calmly, but Nonnon wouldn’t settle down at all.
I continued getting hit for a while. Since it’s in the game, it doesn’t hurt at all, but somehow it felt like my avatar was crying.
As time passed, she finally started to calm down.
[Wait, but something’s weird. You said you “need to pursue” her. That phrasing is strange. You don’t actually like her, Darling?]
She accurately struck at the uncomfortable point.
What would happen if I told her honestly?
—My real sister is threatening me, so I’m thinking of seducing any of the beautiful girls at the same school. So can you give me good ideas?
“…”
Thinking about it calmly, isn’t this pretty crazy?
From the ethical standards of a normal person, this is completely out. The fact that this situation arose because of a long superchat is also bad. If she found out, she’d definitely be appalled. At worst, she might cut ties with me.
I don’t want Nonnon to hate me. I should lie here.
[I told you before I have a sister, right? While I was talking with that sister, things got a bit complicated.]
[I want to hear the details.]
[My sister made fun of me, calling me an unpopular loser. I didn’t want to be looked down on by my sister, so I argued back. And so, to prove I’m popular, I ended up having to ‘pursue’ a girl. The target is an underclassman girl my sister specified.]
I came up with a plausible story.
In a way, it’s not a lie. The point that I ended up having to seduce a girl because of my sister is completely factual.
[What’s that about? Can’t you just normally say it’s impossible?]
[If I did that, I’d lose.]
[Idiot.]
Nonnon, seeming exasperated, hit my character again.
[Why did you consult Nonnon?]
[Because there was no one else.]
When I responded that way, Nonnon displayed an emote showing she was in high spirits.
[Come to think of it, that’s right. Real-life Darling said he’s totally unpopular. You had no choice but to consult Nonnon. I see, I see, since you’re unpopular, it can’t be helped. An unpopular virgin has no one else to consult. I knew it.]
It’s not wrong, but none of your business.
She seemed to be in a slightly better mood after making fun of me.
[Fine. I don’t want to, but since it’s Darling’s request, I’ll help you. I’ll give hopeless Darling some advice, so listen carefully.]
[You’ll give me advice?]
[We’re married, after all. But promise me one thing. Believe everything Nonnon says and act on it. If you do, you’ll succeed. On the other hand, if you ignore the advice, you’ll definitely fail.]
Definitely fail, huh?
I don’t understand the female heart at all. I should probably trust the advice completely.
There’s a reason I relied on Nonnon this time.
First, I can’t consult with real-life acquaintances. If I tell an acquaintance to lend me their wisdom because I’m going to make contact with the younger Hikawa, I won’t get cooperation. They’ll look at me like I’m crazy.
In that regard, Nonnon is an online game wife whose location I don’t even know. I can talk to her to some extent. Even so, I really don’t want to tell her I’m being blackmailed by my sister.
There’s another reason. I heard about her real life before.
Nonnon is a woman in real life too, and she’s experienced in romance. In reality, she’s apparently a blonde gal with an outstanding figure. Currently a high school student. She boasted that dozens of guys are always around her and she’s never been short on men. Also, she has many friends. Apparently, everyone at school is her friend. By the way, she told me that since she married me, even though it’s an online game, she’s been holding back on romance.
She’s probably exaggerating the story a bit.
However, there’s no doubt she’s more experienced in romance than I am. In the first place, my romantic experience is zero, so there’s nothing in this world that’s below me.
[Got it. I’ll trust you completely.]
[Good. Leave it to me as if you’ve boarded a mud boat.]
[That makes me a bit uneasy.]
[Even if you’re uneasy, you’ll comply. Listen, pay attention—]
I listened to her advice for several minutes.
The content was hard to believe, but it would be a failure as a husband to not trust my wife. I decided to trust her completely.
The next day, I steeled my resolve and stormed into the underclassman’s classroom.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT LOCALIZERMEERKAT.GITHUB.IO
The morning after I got advice from Nonnon.
I started walking toward the underclassmen’s classroom. As I walked, I recalled the advice from my experienced wife.
[Girls are creatures who love surprises, so first impressions are everything. I’ll teach you the method, so Darling must do exactly as I say]
The method Nonnon taught me. It was to visit the target’s classroom right after arriving at school and say “Good morning, kitten” directly to her. Apparently, the success rate goes up if you use a more attractive voice than usual.
“……”
Let me say this upfront—I know this method is reckless.
However, female psychology is difficult for men to understand.
From a male perspective, playboys don’t seem like they’d be popular at all. Those guys don’t have a shred of sincerity, seem stupid, and I can’t find any appealing elements. They hit on people right away and are lowlifes who’ll steal other people’s girlfriends.
But apparently, women find them attractive. The fact that playboys cycle through women is proof of that.
There’s a difference between how men and women perceive things.
That’s why Nonnon’s advice might actually work.
Things like wall-slams and chin-lifts that I find completely unappealing apparently make girls’ hearts flutter.
It’s too late to get scared now. I’ve decided to trust my online game wife.
I arrived at the target classroom and took a determined step forward.
“Wha—Onii-chan!?”
The moment I stepped into the classroom, Ayane came running over.
This girl puts on an act at school. She’s a completely different person from how she is at home—at school, she calls me “Onii-chan.” I haven’t been called that at home in years.
“Yo, Ayane.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I have some business. Let me through.”
“What kind of business?”
Ayane wouldn’t move. Her eyes were telling me not to come near this classroom. She was thoroughly blocking me from entering.
I could read her thoughts like a book.
She didn’t want her classmates to know I was her brother. She’d told them she had a brother during that reconciliation incident, but they didn’t know what I looked like. Having a plain-looking brother would be a negative for Ayane, who was aiming to be a princess.
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