Chapter 9: I’ve Been Kidnapped by an Old Man～～～～～！
Now then, the preparation period for the [Great Masquerade Festival] has begun.
As the lord, Reite-sama has to keep stamping approval after approval on documents for stall permits and public road usage applications, but…
“—Hehehe! Well then, Reite-kun, let’s begin our fun [experiment]…!”
I’ve been brought to the [Demon Forest] by a weird old man.
Why, though?
It all started at lunch.
I was enjoying some demon barbecue in the mansion’s garden.
“Mm~! This troll pork is pretty good! It’s more tender and fluffy than regular pork!”
Reite-sama loves all kinds of meat because she’s a villain. To think pig-demon meat could make me groan in satisfaction—not bad, pig-demon.
The sweetness of the fat is super yummy. Nom nom.
“Demon meat… Sorry, but is it really okay to eat this?”
That’s Weiss-kun speaking with a dubious tone as he sits with me. What’s with him?
“Criticizing what someone’s eating is a forbidden villain card. It’s too evil, so remove it from your conversation deck.”
“S-sorry.”
Good, as long as you understand.
Weiss-kun, a conversation beginner, should just use the structure deck [It’s Nice Weather Today].
It’s a deck that develops around the sun as a starting point.
Though it’s useless on rainy days.
“Come to think of it, there’s a superstition in the royal capital that ‘touching demons corrupts your soul,’ right? Do you believe that too, Weiss-kun?”
“No, that’s not it. It’s just that demons are man-eating creatures, right? So eating them would be… indirectly…”
“Ah, I see what you mean.”
I understand what Weiss-kun is trying to say.
Demons. Beings that harm humans.
Compared to ordinary animals, they possess unnecessarily violent functions and have the characteristic of actively targeting humans.
That’s why in the [Goddess Alicephia Scripture], they’re defined as “predators of humanity created by the Dark God Aram.”
“So eating them would be indirectly cannibalistic.”
No wonder he’d hesitate to eat it.
“I understand your feelings, Weiss-kun. It’s psychologically unpleasant, and also, demons that have eaten humans even once become tough and stinky, making them inedible.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. I guess you could call it [evolution]? Just like how man-eating ogres mutate into giant ogres, demons’ genes change every time they eat humans.”
But.
“This meat is fine though. The meat we’re eating now is from a pig-demon that never ate humans until it matured. Since such pig-demons satisfy their appetite with insects and plants just like regular pigs, they taste just as delicious.”
“I see.”
Okay, lecture over. So Weiss-kun, don’t hold back and eat up.
Grill the fatty parts until they’re crispy~ and then quickly take it off and dip it in [wasabi soy sauce] imported from the Eastern Kingdom!
Then put it on hot rice and devour it all at once—!
“MMMAAAAAH!!! So goooood～～～～～!!!”
Huff huff nom nom! Mmm, so juicy and amazing!!
“Uhehe, meat is great. It’s delicious, and the moment you eat it, you feel like you [won] against that creature—so evil.”
“I’m not sure about that food review, but Reite-jou really does eat deliciously… Alright, I’ll try some too.”
Weiss-kun timidly takes a piece of grilled meat and brings it to his mouth.
Then, “! This is good…!” he says with an unusually excited voice. Yes yes, eat lots.
“This is nice. If demon cuisine becomes popular, it could lead to food supply stabilization.”
“Right? Well, you can only taste pig-demons like this in our territory. These past few years the corps has been working really hard, so there are more demons that can’t even scavenge human corpses.”
“I see. So this pig-demon meat was brought by the corps?”
“Nope, Doctor Reinhart sent it with the explanation I just gave.”
Instantly, Weiss-kun stood up with a clatter.
Then he went behind me and lifted me up from around my stomach!
What are you doing?!
“Reite-jou! Spit out that meat right now! That man can’t be trusted!”
“Wait, don’t shake me! Guh?!”
Weiss-kun’s hot, strong arms dig into my abdomen.
And through my skin and peritoneum, they keep thrusting up at my internal organs—thump thump!
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“Ogyaaaa?!”
I-it’s coming out! Seriously, all sorts of things are about to come out!
As a maiden, I’ll need Weiss-kun to compensate me for life if this situation continues!
“Waaah, Ashley, help me!”
“He’s in the bathroom!”
“Useless when I need him most?!”
On his days off he goes on walks sniffing my lingering scent, that antisocial glasses-wearing short good-for-nothing clay figure bastard!
“Ugh, urp…! I-I can’t… take anymore…! I’m gonna give birth to a pig-demon~…!”
Just as I was about to end in various ways,
Suddenly, someone said “Calm down, Prince Weiss” and stopped him.
That person was,
“Tch, you’re—Doctor Reinhart!”
“Yes, it’s me.”
The one who stopped Weiss-kun’s violence was the long-haired old man who sent the meat.
Hey, what are you doing entering someone’s property without permission? I want to retort, but before that…
“Weiss-kun, put me down~…!”
“Ah, s-sorry!”
I’m gently lowered into a chair.
Immediately I gulp down water from a glass, somehow calming the pig-demon that was about to be born.
Phew, saved…!
“I heard most of the conversation. It seems the prince is suspicious of the safety of my gift.”
“Of course. A man who attempted corpse resurrection and then made it run wild—there’s no way I could trust him. So is this meat safe?”
“Well, I don’t know. That’s why she’s the test subject to find out.”
“I’ll kill you.”
The sword hilt is gripped at lightning speed. Weiss-kun is about to cut down the doctor—wait wait, stop!
“Weiss-kun, you’re wrong! Well, you’re not wrong, but you are! “
“What do you mean?”
“Um, you see, the doctor didn’t just make me a test subject on his own—I volunteered…!”
“Mmmm…!”
Weiss-kun looks surprised.
W-well, it is a weird story. Doctor, please explain.
“Well actually, the idea of making demon meat edible was Reite-kun’s suggestion. She said [Isn’t it unproductive to just kill demons and be done with it? Can’t we eat these things?]”
Yes, I was the one who suggested it.
“My, it was an eye-opener. I had been thinking about harvesting and processing the demon-specific parts for use, but to consume the majority fat portions as food—”
“Doctor, the digression is long. Skip that stuff.”
“My apologies. Anyway, after investigating the meat quality of nearby demons, we found that the pig-demons in this area are suitable for consumption. We had mice and dogs eat it and found no allergic reactions, but…”
The doctor explains with a “yo yo yo.” “When I recruited human test subjects, no one applied.”
“But then Reite-kun said [Then I’ll eat it], so I sent the pig-demon marbled meat set.”
“…I see. Now that I understand you had no ill intent, I apologize.”
However,
Weiss-kun glances at me. What, what?!
“Reite-jou… You’re in an irreplaceable position as lord, right? For you to eat something of unknown safety…”
Ugh!
“That’s… but I really love meat…!”
And also, there’s this.
“…Besides, it’s irritating. Humanity cowering before demons forever. So I thought I’d make it so we can eat demons as a villain and achieve [victory]!”
When I declared this, Weiss-kun nodded with a serious expression. “Hmm…”
“That might be valid. The reason demons are feared is because they’re defined as [predators] in the holy scripture. But if we destroy that value system, maybe more warriors will find courage to challenge demons. People’s fighting spirit might rise too.”
“Right?!”
“But still, recklessness is forbidden, Reite-jou… I’d worry if something happened to you.”
Ugugu…! I can’t argue when he says that.
Usually he’s natural and absent-minded, but when it comes to combat or worrying about people, he gets serious…
“Sigh, fine Weiss-kun. Thanks for worrying about me. I’ll make you my evil right-hand man.”
“I’ll pass on that.”
“Why?!”
—It was during such an exchange.
The doctor, grinning as he said “You two get along well,” made some kind of suggestion.
“Now then, Reite-kun. Actually, I have a request for you.”
“A request?”
What are you being so secretive about?
“If you want extra pocket money, massage my shoulders.”
“Are you my mother? I’m getting enough research funding, so it’s not that.”
Then what?
“I like your philosophy of [wanting to use every part of a demon’s body without waste]. So I’m thinking of researching [magic crystals] that I’ve been keeping an eye on.”
“Magic crystals?”
As I tilt my head, the doctor raises a finger and begins explaining.
What an unnecessarily white and long finger. Did you play piano?
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