Interlude — The Goddess’s Soliloquy
My first love was a woman I saw on TV.
She played the male lead in a certain theatrical troupe, and the moment I saw her, she shot straight through my heart. To me, she looked just like the prince who appears in a fairytale.
But I knew from the start that this love would never come true.
She was an adult, a celebrity—and she was the same gender as me.
While I was busy making up excuses for why it could never work, the person I admired ended up getting married. The last time I saw her, she wasn’t a dazzling prince anymore—she had become a beautiful princess. Feeling a quiet sadness at that change, my first love came to an end.
For a while, I couldn’t fall in love with anyone.
There just wasn’t anyone around who caught my interest. I couldn’t see boys or girls in a romantic way, and time simply kept passing.
By the time I entered middle school, I’d come to dislike boys.
The reason was their eyes. I knew my body had developed early, and that made everything worse. The way the boys stared was so blatant, so gross, that it made my skin crawl.
I started to wonder—I thought I liked girls, didn’t I? Was I wrong?
But even when I looked at my classmates or upperclassmen, nothing stirred in my heart. Even when I saw cool, handsome women like her, I didn’t feel the same way. I remember trembling one night, terrified that maybe I wasn’t capable of loving anyone at all.
Was that first one really love? Or was it just admiration?
Then one day, fate decided to intervene.
It all started with a rumor.
“Hey, apparently a prince-like beauty just transferred to the middle school next door!”
A prince-like girl—that was a rumor too tempting to ignore. Still, I doubted anyone could ever compare to the shock I’d felt when I first saw her.
Without expecting much, I went to the neighboring school—and that’s where I met her.
“……”
Electricity surged through me.
My ideal was walking right before my eyes. Taller than most boys, beautifully proportioned, with a perfect face—she was the very image of the prince I’d always dreamed of. No, even more than that. She was a real prince.
I fell in love in an instant.
Having no experience with love, I went to a friend for advice. Following her suggestions, I decided to take things slow.
Meanwhile, I secretly started gathering information. Her name was Shiranui Tsubasa-chan. She was smart, athletic, and, as I learned, planned to enroll in Himegasaki High School. So I hit the books and decided to get into the same school.
When I was accepted, I found out she’d passed too. Maybe the gods really do listen to prayers—by pure luck, we ended up in the same class.
I hid my feelings and got closer to her.
And Tsubasa-chan… she was perfect inside and out. Her casual kindness, the heart-thumping things she sometimes said, the occasional—but never excessive—physical contact. There wasn’t a single flaw to be found. She was my ideal prince through and through.
We became friends. Within a year, I could proudly call her my best friend.
Then came one summer afternoon in our second year.
On the way home after spending the day at the pool, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I confessed everything that had been building up inside me.
“──Sorry. Misuzu, I can’t return your feelings.”
The world went dark.
It was my first heartbreak, and it hit me harder than I could have imagined. I lost all motivation and spent the rest of summer vacation shut up in my room. I couldn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t just heartbreak—if people found out the person I’d fallen for was another girl, my parents and friends might look at me differently.
When the new term started, things didn’t go back to how they were.
Once I began keeping my distance, other girls who admired Tsubasa-chan started approaching her. I felt like my place beside her had vanished overnight.
“Senpai, are you okay?”
The one who spoke to me as I sat there sulking was Kanbara Ayane-chan.
She was a first-year student who had gone to the same middle school as me—my junior from the same club, actually. A bit clumsy, but always cheerful and well-liked. I’d always thought she was adorable.
Feeling low, I avoided giving details but told her I was troubled about something.
“Then, why don’t you talk to my brother?”
“…Yūma-kun?”
“Yes! My brother’s really good at giving advice. He’s helped all kinds of people before. He’s quiet, but he’s my pride and joy!”
I froze.
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Kanbara Yūma-kun—my friend since middle school, and a fellow student at Himegasaki Academy. Back then, he often listened to my problems. In fact, it was thanks to him that I even became friends with Tsubasa-chan in the first place.
He’s the only boy I could ever call a friend. Unlike other guys, he never gave me that gross, leering look. He always seemed to understand my feelings.
With no one else to turn to, I decided to take Ayane-chan’s advice and tell Yūma-kun my secret.
I braced myself—ready to be laughed at, mocked, or worse, exposed.
“That’s not weird at all. We live in an age that values diversity, right? Even guys can admire handsome men. And if it’s someone like Shiranui—a handsome girl like that—I totally get it.”
He understood.
After that, Yūma-kun naturally offered to help me talk to Tsubasa-chan again.
Apparently, he succeeded in convincing her, and soon after, he contacted me saying he’d arranged a place for us to meet. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart and went there.
“Sorry for saying weird stuff before. I must’ve surprised you.”
“Yeah, honestly, I was shocked.”
“You know, I—”
I could have brushed it all off as a mistake, but instead, I told her how I really felt.
“I see… Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to return your feelings.”
“…Yeah, I figured.”
“But still, setting that aside—I’d like to be friends with you again, Misuzu. Is that okay?”
Just hearing that made me so happy I could cry. I nodded without hesitation.
And so, we made up.
Friends really are the best.
I wanted to keep building a good relationship with Yūma-kun too—and of course, I owed both him and Ayane-chan more thanks than I could ever express.
The Kanbara siblings are my saviors. I’ll be grateful to them for the rest of my life.
After we reconciled, every day felt brighter. Even just walking the same path as before felt like walking along one glowing with light.
My feelings for Tsubasa-chan were stronger than ever, but I told myself not to rush. This time, I had to do things right.
One afternoon, after thanking Yūma-kun for everything, I headed to the classroom to invite Tsubasa-chan to hang out. But she wasn’t there.
I considered messaging her, but since we hadn’t made any plans, I didn’t want to seem clingy.
“…Oh well. I’ll just head home alone.”
That’s when I saw her.
Tsubasa-chan.
I opened my mouth to call out—but she walked into an empty classroom.
Curious, I crept closer and peeked inside. Inside, Tsubasa-chan was chatting happily with Yūma-kun.
“……”
A black emotion welled up inside me.
I shook my head to chase away the ugly thoughts.
Ugh, I hate how jealous I can be. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but surely it was the same thing I’d done—thanking him for helping us make up.
It’s not like those two would ever end up in that kind of relationship.
Tsubasa-chan isn’t even interested in boys. During a sleepover once, when we talked about crushes, she said there weren’t any boys she liked. She’d never fallen for one before, either.
And Yūma-kun didn’t seem interested in girls much, either.
I know my body’s feminine, but unlike most guys, Yūma-kun never gave me those indecent looks. That’s what made me feel safe around him—what let me become his friend in the first place.
There was nothing to worry about.
…Or so I told myself.
“Wait, aren’t they a little too close?”
The two of them were sitting side by side, their desks practically touching, smiling as they talked.
It was getting hard not to step in and say something, but I forced myself to stay calm. It’s fine. Tsubasa-chan doesn’t like boys. There’s no way they’d—
“—!”
And then I saw it. Something I could hardly believe.
Tsubasa-chan’s face… had turned into that of a girl in love.
Her cheeks flushed, her eyes shimmering with unmistakable affection.
The prince on a white horse was transforming into a delicate, blushing princess.
“……Yūma-kun. Would you care to explain this?”
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