Epilogue
A gruesome scene of piled-up corpses stretched across the dining hall of Castle Lohengrin.
A long banquet table large enough to seat several dozen at once.
At one corner of it, the last remaining flame was about to flicker out.
“…T-Twice, not once but twice… Big Brother…!”
Plop.
Suzuha’s head slumped onto the table.
Clutched in both her hands were the legs of a snow crab.
––Observing this scene from a low table in the corner of the dining hall were two figures.
“…Feels like I’ve seen this exact same scene before,”
“It’s different on a spot-the-difference level, at least,Last time she had a sea urchin gunkan in one hand.”
Ayano replied with a dry tone. She offered a pointed retort to her Lord’s impression.
“I’ll make some tea,”
“I’ll do it. More importantly, Your Excellency, are you not going to join in on the crab rampage?”
Last time, Suzuha’s older brotherd been tied up entertaining Queen Toko, but that wasn’t the case this time.
Surely he could join in now—so Ayano asked. But Suzuha’s brother grimaced slightly and shook his head.
“I mean, I’d like to, but when I think about who sent them… you know?”
“It’s not that big a deal.”
Just as Suzuha’s older brother’s party returned to the Margraviate of Lohengrin, an enormous shipment of crabs had arrived at the castle—sent by none other than the Arcbishop of the Holy Theocracy.
The enclosed letter merely stated it was “a small token of greeting.”
That was what unsettled Suzuha’s brother even more—the complete lack of demands.
But Ayano couldn’t care less about her employer’s worries.
“You don’t have to think too hard about it. Ah, would Your Excellency like a crab leg?”
“I’ll take one… Oh, it’s delicious.”
“Listen, Your Excellency. The Holy Theocracy is the religious epicenter of the continent. And the Arcbishop? He’s the real power behind it all. Honestly, in terms of prestige, authority, and wealth, he’s leagues above the rulers of most major nations.”
“Fweh… Toko-san is so amazing…!”
Suzuha’s brother was genuinely impressed, earning him a withering side-eye from Ayano.
––Seriously, just who do you think gave Queen Toko the platform to act all high and mighty? The strongest military on the continent, the only territory with an orichalcum vein, and zero ambition—a walking disaster of unintentional overpowered absurdity, that’s who.
As she picked the shells from the crab, Ayano wondered bitterly: how many world leaders besides me are silently weeping, wishing they could trade places with Queen Toko?
“So yeah, for the Arcbishop, this really was just a casual greeting. Which makes it all the more infuriating.”
“Sending… crabs?”
“Yes. Sending a ton of the finest grade crab just to show off his power and wealth.”
Ayano didn’t feel there was a single lie in what she just said.
Though, she had omitted one truth:
How many people in this world would the Arcbishop genuinely go out of his way to greet?
Ayano knew the answer.
There is only one such person in the world.
*
Since everyone who had been fighting the crab ended up collapsing, the two of them decided to lay them down properly.
Technically, that was the maid Kanade’s job—but said maid had passed out under the table after snacking excessively.
Suzuha’s brother chuckled as he looked down at her—belly-up in her maid outfit.
“Well, guess she’s out of commission. Not that I can blame her—the enemy was crab.”
“But Your Excellency, wasn’t there one more maid?”
“Kanade’s the only maid we’ve got.”
“I thought there was a young girl apprentice maid?”
“Oh, right.”
Suzuha’s brother pointed toward the sea of crabs.
“There, see those two elves? One of them is the grown-up version of Unyuko.”
“…Um, two things I couldn’t comprehend just now. One, the whole ‘grown-up version’ part is highly suspicious. And two, weren’t the elves supposed to be extinct?”
“Yeah, turns out Unyuko was originally an elf. She ended up going to a hidden elven village. The elder there—that’s the one lying next to her now.”
“…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear any of that…”
Ayano muttered as she averted her eyes from the elves and mentally retreated from reality. Still, she knew all too well that, professionally, she would have to face it—probably as soon as tomorrow.
Somehow, he managed to gather everyone and lay them down.
Looking at the row of unconscious figures—Suzuha, Yuzuriha, and the others—Ayano couldn’t help but think:
––A knight apprentice, a duke’s daughter, a maid, and a legendary elf, all lying unconscious side by side. How much more chaotic could this situation get?
Then she turned a deadpan glare toward the man responsible for it all.
“––Seeing something like this firsthand really makes me feel that Your Excellency has truly returned.”
It was pure sarcasm, of course.
But when she said it, Suzuha’s brother blinked a few times.
“Oh, right. In all the chaos, I forgot.”
“Forgot what…?”
Ayano tensed up, bracing for yet another mess.
“I never properly greeted you. ––I’m home, Ayano-san.”
Caught completely off guard, Ayano froze for a moment.
Then, with a wry smile, she gave a graceful bow.
“Welcome home, Your Excellency. I’ve been eagerly awaiting your return.”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT LOCALIZERMEERKAT.GITHUB.IO
Afterword
––Yes, this all happened at the end of the year, after finishing the proofreading and afterword for Volume 2.
That night, I received a call from my editor.
“We’re making a voice comic to post online. Please write the script.”
“Vo…voice comic…? What’s that?”
I didn’t know at the time, but apparently a voice comic is a kind of video where manga panels are accompanied by voice acting and sound effects.
They said they would make one for my work.
And then—it hit me.
(Th-this is… the legendary [voice actor recording studio visit] flag…!)
––Now, this is purely my own opinion, but if you asked a light novel author to name their top 3 dreams and ambitions, they’d be:
Annual income of 80 million yen
Editor pays for an all-you-can-eat high-end sushi or crab feast
A chance to observe voice actor recordings live
In other words, this was it.
(I-I might actually get to see a voice actor’s recording session…!)
Of course, I’m an adult, so I didn’t let that excitement show. Because, you know, embarrassing.
Anyway, I wrote the script, and as I watched Shimozuki-sensei turn it into a brilliantly funny manga, I thought, “Professionals are amazing…!” Time passed, and eventually the new year rolled around.
One day, my editor called again.
“The video’s finished!”
“…Wait, does that mean… the voice recording already happened?”
“Yeah, that’s long done.”
Turns out the recording session ended without me knowing a thing. Gya-fuun.
Well, the video was fantastic, both in visuals and voice, so I can’t complain too much.
Thanks to the efforts of so many people, this book was brought to life.
To the readers of the web version,
To the amazing Natāsha-sama, whose lewd and adorable illustrations are second to none,
To Editor M-shita-sama, to the proofreaders, to the sales team, and everyone else involved—
And above all, to you, who picked up this book,
I offer you my deepest gratitude.
Visit the request page If there’s a Japanese Light Novel (LN) or Web Novel (WN) you’d like me to translate
When the donation goal progress bar above hit 100% one novel will be chosen for translation
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