Chapter 1
If you were to ask me to name the most soul-crushing moment of working life, it would undoubtedly be going home on the last train.
Of course, I understand that being able to catch the last train at all means I’m better off than most.
The seats on the final train were faintly warm.
The train car was practically empty, with fellow salarymen scattered about, sitting with gaps between them.
In the window glass across from me, I could see the reflection of a man with a terrible complexion.
Disheveled hair. Evil-looking eyes, the face of a salaryman who looked drunk and ready to vomit at any moment.
Well, that would be me.
Looking down, I saw my employee ID hanging from my neck with the company logo “Akaba System” and the name “Horikoshi Kyoya” written on it.
With my hazy consciousness, I hurriedly stuffed it into my commuter backpack.
Apparently, I’d been walking around with it on since leaving the company.
My personal information completely exposed—so much for security.
……I really must be exhausted.
The past few days had been brutal.
It started when equipment we’d delivered to a client broke down. I pulled an all-nighter writing a report, got chewed out by my boss, then got summoned to the client’s headquarters because they demanded we “show our sincerity.” In a conference room on a high floor with a nice view, I bowed my head while getting thoroughly yelled at, and finally had to entertain the client along with my boss, saying “please continue to favor us with your business.”
But unlike my boss, a bottom-feeder like me had to return to the office after the entertainment was over, still drunk, to revise the report.
And that’s how I ended up like this.
“……urp”
Nausea suddenly welled up, and I hurriedly covered my mouth.
I’d already arrived at my local station and was on my way home.
The town I live in is in Chiba Prefecture. About a forty-minute train ride to Tokyo. I’d been living in this hometown since middle school, and used to bike to high school.
Unfortunately, there isn’t even a single convenience store between here and my current home—a thirty-year-old apartment building.
Which means I have to endure it at least until I get home.
At times like this, if only someone were waiting for me at home.
Living the working life, I often find myself having such empty fantasies out of nowhere.
It’s probably partly because my high school and college classmates have been posting wedding photos on social media one after another, as if they planned it.
Some of my middle school classmates even have kids.
A few years ago, I was surprised thinking “huh, that guy?” but not anymore.
That’s the reality of being a twenty-eight-year-old working adult.
Meanwhile, I don’t have a girlfriend, let alone a marriage partner.
To begin with, I’m so busy with work that I don’t even have opportunities to meet anyone.
When college classmates tell me “just find someone at work,” frankly, that’s unrealistic.
I thought that might be an option when I first joined the company, but seeing senior employees who broke up after dating within the company changed my mind. It makes things awkward for everyone else, and work becomes too difficult. If you’re going to date within the company, at least make it someone from a different department.
The first and last time I dated a girl was in college.
And even that only lasted a few months.
There were probably various reasons it ended, but ultimately it was just a relationship that got heated up temporarily.
Before that, there was only a classmate I was slightly interested in during high school.
But maybe high school was when I was most proactive about romance.
The object of my unrequited love was a classmate famous throughout the entire school.
Her name was Minase Ayana.
Beautiful, of course, and the ace of the track team. Her dedication was so famous that everyone in school knew about it. There was even a legend about a boy who confessed to her being given the condition “if you can keep up with my training for a month,” only to give up after one week.
Personality-wise, she was the type who treated both boys and girls equally.
—Eh? Horikoshi-kun, didn’t you get a high score on the test? What kind of studying do you do?
—I’m definitely not going to lose to you on this test. Am I too competitive? That’s fine, isn’t it.
I remember well how she would talk to me like that, even though I wasn’t particularly noticeable in class.
That said, she didn’t become intimate with everyone—she maintained a perfect distance with everyone except a few girls.
Loved by everyone, but untouchable—the sacred, inviolable idol of the school.
Beautiful and seemingly cold on the surface, but a sore loser who was thoroughly obsessed with competition.
That was [Minase Ayana] as I saw her.
Back then, I remember getting excited just from having the seat next to hers or receiving an email from her.
It’s hard to believe now that something as simple as an email could make my emotions fluctuate so much.
Well, I do get irritated when my boss emails me with “I’m counting on you for this project!” as an unreasonable demand. Especially when it’s help for a project that’s clearly on fire with less than a week until deadline. Don’t suddenly throw me into what’s obviously a death trap. Are you telling me to die?
I’m getting off track.
The point is, while everyone around me is getting married, I’m still single and doing nothing but work.
……What am I even living for?
It’s not like I’m only affirming a life spent with someone.
There must be countless forms of happiness.
But speaking for myself, when I step into my dark, empty house, I’m sometimes enveloped by a loneliness that sends chills down my spine.
That’s when I think to myself:
Ah, I want someone to say “welcome home.”
“Ugh”
Maybe the alcohol was gradually wearing off.
My thoughts were all jumbled, and I was only thinking negative things.
This is bad—I’m even starting to feel chills.
“——”
Before I knew it, I was vomiting in front of my apartment building.
A sharp smell filled my nostrils. At the same time, feelings of pathetic misery mixed together, and I felt like I might collapse from my feet up—
“Are you alright?”
Just then, someone called out to me from above.
A warm hand rubbed my back.
From the voice, I could tell it was a woman. Along with a voice full of concern for me, my back was gently stroked up and down, and the nauseating feeling that had been circulating through my body began to fade.
“Here, take this.”
After I finished retching, tissues were offered to me.
I repeatedly thanked and apologized while wiping my mouth with the tissues.
By then the nausea was gone, but at the same time, one question floated in my mind.
……Who is this?
I’m roughly acquainted with most of the residents of this apartment, but I’ve never heard this voice before.
As my thoughts became clearer, I looked up and—
“……Eh?”
“……Eh?”
……Wait, hold on a minute.
No way. That can’t be possible.
Just because I was thinking about her a little earlier doesn’t mean this could be such perfect timing.
I denied it over and over in my head and blinked repeatedly, but the scene before my eyes wouldn’t change.
The other person seemed to notice me too, blinking in the same way.
The last time I saw her was at high school graduation.
Compared to back then, she looked much more mature.
There’s no way I could be certain after just these few seconds.
But I knew.
Somehow, I knew it was her.
“……Could it be, Minase?”
“……Which means, you really are Horikoshi-kun?”
The cold streetlight flickered.
At what was probably the most pathetic moment of my life—drunk and vomiting—
In front of my apartment building, I had reunited with the girl I’d had a crush on in high school.
And at the same time, my alcohol-hazed consciousness could only hold on until this point.
I barely remember anything that happened after this.
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“……?”
When I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar room.
I got up from the futon and looked around, but this definitely wasn’t my house.
A Western-style room about six tatami mats in size.
No furniture was placed anywhere, and several cardboard boxes were stacked up in the corner of the room. A box cutter had been left behind, as if someone had been in the middle of unpacking.
The room itself seemed somewhat familiar, but it definitely hadn’t been this barren before.
Looking at my phone, it was 6 AM.
I must have slept through everything.
But why am I in a place like this?
As I massaged my temples while pressing against my throbbing head, the events of last night gradually came back to me.
That’s right. Yesterday I entertained clients, then returned to the office to make minor revisions to a report, caught the last train home, vomited in front of my apartment—
“Are you okay?”
Before I knew it, the door had opened.
Standing next to it was a cool-beauty with black hair holding a tray.
Almond-shaped eyes. Long eyelashes. Natural makeup, hair tied in a simple ponytail with a plain rubber band. No accessories of any kind.
Her outfit was a T-shirt with light-colored jeans.
Thoroughly simple clothing, perhaps for ease of movement.
Still, it looked good on her—that’s something to be expected, I suppose.
But seeing her again under bright fluorescent lights……there’s no mistake.
My high school classmate—Minase Ayana.
“Here, some water. Your throat must be dry.”
“Ah, yeah……thanks.”
Minase knelt down beside me and handed me a glass of water.
I cautiously took a sip, and the cold water soaked into my organs.
Delicious. I think it’s just regular water, but it’s perfect for my stomach, which had been damaged by alcohol.
“……So. To confirm again, you are Horikoshi-kun, right? Horikoshi-kun from the same class.”
Minase looked at me with interest as she brought this up.
“I talked to you a little yesterday, but you seemed pretty drunk.”
“Yeah, I’m Horikoshi. From class 3-3.”
“Do you remember me?”
“Minase, right?”
“What about my first name?”
“……Sorry, I forgot.”
“I see, that’s too bad.”
With an expression that didn’t seem particularly disappointed, Minase smiled somewhat teasingly.
But that was a lie.
The truth is, I remember Minase’s name perfectly—full name and all. [Minase Ayana]. I can even write the kanji correctly, but I didn’t want Minase to know that.
It would be unnatural for someone to remember the full name of a classmate they weren’t particularly close to in high school, someone they’re meeting for the first time in ten years.
But I couldn’t help being surprised by what Minase said next.
“You’re Kyoya, right? Horikoshi Kyoya-kun.”
“Yeah, that’s right, but……”
I never expected her to remember even my first name. I reflexively widened my eyes.
Minase and I didn’t have a deep relationship. We were just classmates.
So would someone really remember the full name of a classmate they’re meeting for the first time in ten years?
The [me] from high school, hidden deep in my chest, made my heart skip slightly.
But it was the rationality of the adult [me] that threw cold water on that feeling.
Minase was the type of girl who treated boys and girls equally.
Even someone like me, who wasn’t particularly noticeable in the classroom.
So there’s nothing strange about her remembering my name.
“But what a coincidence this is.”
Minase narrowed her eyes as if reminiscing.
“It’s been so long since I met a classmate, it made me nostalgic. I thought I’d never see Horikoshi-kun again except maybe at a class reunion.”
“Me too.”
In fact, I wasn’t planning to go to class reunions either, so I thought I’d never see her again in my entire life.
“By the way, where is this?”
This barren room that seemed somewhat familiar.
I felt like the answer was on the tip of my tongue, but maybe because I’d just woken up, I couldn’t quite reach that answer.
“……Don’t tell me you don’t remember what happened yesterday?”
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