Episode 23: About One Brilliant Method
555: Hakase
I am a despicable man who lies to children…
556: Anonymous Combatant
Your spirits are really low from the start today.
557: Anonymous Combatant
It’s better than you coming at us with that overwhelming emotional weight like before.
558: Hakase
Well, I’m aware I went a bit overboard with the storytelling last time, so just let it slide smoothly this time.
559: Anonymous Combatant
What did you screw up this time?
560: Anonymous Combatant
The premise you screwed up already?
561: Hakase
This time I really did screw up big time, so I can’t say anything.
The other day, GorillaMacho invited me over saying “Why don’t you come over for dinner?”
During the yakiniku time, he said it’d be with Cat Ear too. He had asked me to do some work for him before, so I agreed it’d be good to have dinner and confirm things. CatEar was happy about it too.
562: Anonymous Combatant
Oh right, does GorillaMacho live in Japan?
563: Anonymous Combatant
BigBro runs a coffee shop, Sexy graduated from a junior college and got a job. What does GorillaMacho do?
564: Anonymous Combatant
I’m guessing a P.E. teacher.
565: Anonymous Combatant
A gorilla-like muscular P.E. teacher…lick, that’s a brain-destroying flavor!
566: Anonymous Combatant
Such a cliche. Love it.
567: Anonymous Combatant
Hope he’s not the teacher at the school Lost Fairies goes to?
568: Hakase
No worries, GorillaMacho is a family man and would never go to those kinds of shady places.
His job is an apartment building manager.
569: Anonymous Combatant
GorillaMacho is married!?
570: Anonymous Combatant
To a female gorilla!?
571: Anonymous Combatant
You never mentioned that before!?
572: Anonymous Combatant
But he’s a dangerous macho who practices deadly techniques!?
573: Hakase
>>570 Not a female gorilla, but a slender beautiful woman with light green hair and elf ears.
It was about half a year after the extradimensional base was completed and GorillaMacho and I reconciled.
To improve the stability of the dimension, we absolutely needed a certain material.
When I told the former leader, he said “Leave it to me, I’ll get it right away! You guys come with me!” and immediately went to invade a small country that produced the crystal I wanted. The plan was to take over the entire region that was the source.
I didn’t ask him to do that, but his momentum was way over the top.
574: Anonymous Combatant
To just take over an entire country for this material is too much.
575: Anonymous Combatant
Feel bad for the current leader, but I can see why people follow the former leader’s lead.
576: Hakase
Of course, BigBro did lay out the reasoning.
The plan was to replace the country’s king with someone convenient for us to make it an allied nation.
To do that, we’d naturally have to dispose of some of the royal family.
And that’s where GorillaMacho met his girl in the country we invaded.
His wife is the ninth princess of that country…a real live princess. She had little inheritance rights and was being mistreated as a concubine child, but luckily avoided execution after the invasion.
Gorilla: “I fell for you. I’ll destroy this country that abused you, so you fall for me too.”
He seriously stole the princess’s heart with that bold approach.
That crazy pickup line is still talked about in the organization.
577: Anonymous Combatant
A gorilla saying that…
578: Anonymous Combatant
Can’t believe a princess would fall for such a musclebrained confession.
579: Anonymous Combatant
Apartment building manager sounds like an easy job.
580: Anonymous Combatant
Kidnapping is the trademark of evil organizations!
581: Hakase
Despite her gentle demeanor, the princess wife has a strong core.
When we left the organization a year and a half ago, she went with GorillaMacho along with their two kids.
It’s no doubt thanks to his family that a battlefield-hardened man like him has no complaints about living peacefully in Japan.
582: Anonymous Combatant
Damn, damn it…
583: Anonymous Combatant
Can’t believe GorillaMacho ended up the biggest winner.
584: Hakase
The details of that couple would take too long, so I’ll skip it.
Anyway, we were invited over to GorillaMacho’s place. It was just to confirm some work stuff, which didn’t take long, so we all had dinner after. Even though she’s royalty, the princess wife is a great cook, so visiting is always something to look forward to.
After the meal, the kids always ask “Hakase, tell us that story!” as usual.
Oh, GorillaMacho Jr. is a pair of 5-year-old fraternal twins by the way.
They take after their mother. ⬅ This part is important.
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585: Anonymous Combatant
That story?
586: Anonymous Combatant
Good for them, taking after their beautiful mother.
587: Hakase
Yes, that story leads into this lie I told.
The kids love that story because it involves their parents.
Four years ago, there was this guy who picked a fight with our organization.
He claimed to be the former fiancé of the princess wife.
Though it was just an arranged political marriage, the creepy noble was obsessed with her, despite her being head over heels for GorillaMacho.
Still, he was saying stuff like “That woman is mine!” and tried to start a coup in the princess’s home country that we had taken over.
588: Anonymous Combatant
Seems like GorillaMacho is being positioned as the main protagonist.
589: Anonymous Combatant
Could go either shonen manga or erotic manga with this development.
590: Hakase
The creepy noble occupied the castle. His demands were to become king and take GorillaMacho’s wife.
The ones who went to subdue him were naturally GorillaMacho, 18-year-old Sexy at the time, and myself.
Timewise, it went:
<7 years ago> Base completed. GorillaMacho meets princess to get upgrade materials.
<6 years ago> 28-year-old GorillaMacho marries the beautiful princess.
<5 years ago> 17-year-old Sexy joins organization. GorillaMacho has twins.
<4 years ago> Creepy War. I fired as missile. Sexy gets a smile.
591: Anonymous Combatant
Whoa, I’m kinda lost on what’s happening.
592: Anonymous Combatant
Oh the elite squad assembled. But what’s with the “Sexy gets a smile”?
593: Anonymous Combatant
Did Delnkeim see the situation as serious?
594: Hakase
You see, back then Sexy was an elite candidate.
Though from an ordinary merchant family, she was born with a tremendously high soul output. Her technique was lacking, but her raw power surpassed even mine.
So BigBro instructed her to learn from the power-focused fighting style of GorillaMacho who excelled in the same area. The creepy noble was a perfect training dummy in a sense.
I tagged along on BigBro’s orders to protect Sexy if needed.
Sexy was in that “Doing this for me…Thank you BigBro ♡” state at the time.
595: Anonymous Combatant
So two elites were mobilized just for Sexy’s sake.
596: Anonymous Combatant
She must have been highly regarded.
597: Anonymous Combatant
Sexy is a power type. Figures with that chest.
598: Hakase
In terms of talent, she’s top among the four elites, and with little combat experience she has insane growth potential.
If only she hadn’t left the organization…no, her choice is what matters most.
Of course, I do feel a bit lonely without GorillaMacho and the others around.
599: Anonymous Combatant
Don’t say such depressing things…
600: Hakase
Anyways, back to the battle with the creepy noble. Quite a number of soldiers had taken position in front of the occupied castle.
Wait, that’s strange? There’s no way a guy like that with no charisma could command this many loyal troops.
Their eyes were dazed. Definitely some kind of brainwashing technique at work.
601: Anonymous Combatant
What a textbook scummy noble move.
602: Anonymous Combatant
Yeah, he was definitely planning to brainwash the princess wife too.
603: Hakase
This is going to take time to deal with and scatter them.
Just as I thought that, GorillaMacho suddenly started explaining.
Apparently the princess wife had told him beforehand that this large-scale brainwashing was the effect of an heirloom item of the royal family. Something like the “Scepter of Charm” or a legendary weapon of that sort. Meaning, if we could just destroy that, it would solve everything.
Gorilla: “Most likely, the creep has that item. If we smash it, we win.”
Me: “But the enemy is at the top floor of the castle. We’d still have to get through these guys first.”
Gorilla: “No problem, I’ve got a strategy. Just one brilliant method.”
604: Anonymous Combatant
Didn’t expect someone named GorillaMacho to be good at strategies.
605: Anonymous Combatant
Even the weakest elite Hakase is stronger than Eres Chan.
If he says he can’t do it, he’s still above average at least, right?
606: Hakase
Gorilla: “You can nullify magical brainwashing effects, right?”
Me: “Of course I’ve prepared countermeasures against psychic interference.”
Gorilla: “Then it’s perfect. I’m not in the mood to waste time scattering these grunts one-by-one. A creep who sees my wife as his woman is unforgivable. I can’t leave him be for even a second. …We’re taking the shortest path to beat him down quickly.”
This guy really loves his wife, I’m impressed.
With a serious look, GorillaMacho said that and…picked me up.
Me: “Eh? Wait a minute. Isn’t this strange?”
Gorilla: “Dealing with the grunts will take time. But luckily, the creep is at the top floor. The path is clear, isn’t it?”
Me: “How is that lucky? Are you listening?”
Gorilla: “I’ll throw you all the way to the top floor. Smash that Scepter of Charm.”
Me: “I’m the one taking the shortest path!?”
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