Case 2: I Can Read Minds So I Know Who the Thief Is, But They’re Thinking in a Foreign Language So I Can’t Find What They Stole!
The whereabouts of the will left by the former president of major consulting firm Logic Consul has gone missing—called in personally by the successor to resolve a scandal that cannot be made public,
Oba Kanako, the mind-reading detective arrives on the scene.
She immediately tries to read the minds of suspicious parties using her innate ability, but—
“This is… a foreign language!?”
Even though she can read it, she doesn’t understand because it’s in an unknown language.
Her English grades were always 1 point, after all.
“Hey there, little girl, if you come to my house I’ll give you some fresh caramel.”
“fresh caramel!? Yes! I’ll go!”
And so I was kidnapped by the evil scientist Dr. Ataoka and turned into a cyborg.
…Even now I can say with pride that the fresh caramel from that time was delicious…
Of course, if it had been ordinary candy I would have refused. But hey, when it comes to fresh caramel, that’s a different story, right?
Honestly, even as an adult now, I don’t have the confidence to refuse any invitation if fresh caramel is dangled in front of me… though the logical point that I wouldn’t be an adult at that point is off-limits, okay?
Lured to a research lab that looked like a converted private house, I had something that looked like a 100-yen store stainless steel bowl with electrodes stuck in it put on my head. How cowardly to do that while I was absorbed in the fresh caramel.
Then, after being made to wear it for several hours, when I came to, I had acquired mind-reading abilities.
After that, they were about to perform the full course of modification surgeries to enhance my physical strength and suppress my emotions, but that’s when the police rushed in and I was safely rescued.
From kidnapping to liberation took about half a day… I remember clearly that I made it home in plenty of time for dinner. Mom’s homemade hamburger was delicious.
Fortunately, this ability can be turned on and off, or rather, it’s like pricking up your ears to listen? It’s not like I can hear other people’s thoughts 24/7, so it doesn’t interfere with my daily life that much, which is a blessing if you can call it that.
Occasionally there are people who think too strongly in their minds and I can hear them, but they’re usually people who’ve been heartbroken or failed at gambling or stocks, so I try not to worry about it too much. Though lately, I’ve started thinking Japan’s economy is a bit rough.
Having acquired such an ability, there’s only one thing for me to think about, right? “How can I use this ability to make some money!” That’s all there is to it, yeah.
“—And so, I ended up becoming a detective.”
Oba Detective Agency.
My home base, located above a retro coffee shop.
It used to be a venture company’s office, so it has Western-style floors and walls, with little pieces of driftwood and such—very tasteful indeed. Though lately, my mother’s sense of style has been infiltrating when she comes to clean, with protective charms and wooden bear carvings being placed around, creating quite a mismatch.
Sprawled out on a cheap sofa bought from a recycling shop, I was lamenting my youthful indiscretions. Though I’m still a JK and plenty young even now.
Having been mentally and physically exhausted by the Ichiwada mansion incident I solved the other day, I was in the middle of chill time with a popsicle in hand. Relaxing barefoot is truly blissful time~.
“What are you doing?”
My assistant Ando Koyomi—nickname Koyomin—called out to me.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT LOCALIZERMEERKAT.PAGES.DEV
Freshly washed uniform with crisp starch, pale skin and an emotionless expression that’s incredibly alluring. Her features are beautiful too—if she worked at a concept cafe, she’d definitely get regular customers, or rather, I’d want to become a regular customer myself.
She’s my beloved little sister, but she’s actually a cyborg like me, modified by an evil scientist.
Apparently she’s some kind of android or cyborg or something like that. She was injected with negative ions? Nanomachines? Or something like that.
At first glance she’s a somewhat downtrodden, delicate girl, but her physical strength far surpasses that of ordinary people. Because of that, she’s had quite a hard time—it’s a story that can’t be told without tears.
Breaking doorknobs when she lets her guard down—several times.
TV remote control buttons getting crushed and not working—many times.
This is actually the improved version. When she was first modified, even a light jump would make her break through the ceiling… Just remembering poor Koyomin and the repair costs brings tears to my eyes… Wait? Am I the one who’s been having a hard time?
She’s an irreplaceable younger sister to me, a fellow cyborg, and as a bonus, whether it’s due to the nanomachine effects or her naturally low emotional fluctuations, I can’t read her mind, making her a precious friend I can interact with normally. Though her expressions are scarce, she has cute points like being scared of ghosts and being weak when tickled under the arms—but if I started talking about Koyomin’s good points, dawn would break, so I’ll stop here.
I point the finished popsicle stick at her with a snap.
“Standby is also part of a detective’s job, Koyomin.”
“Is showing your panties part of the job?”
“Hehehe, I’m showing them on purpose.”
“Standby means showing panties… Update complete. Really, if you keep doing that, no one will want to marry you. The birth of a [single] detective.”
“When that time comes, please take care of me.”
“What exactly am I supposed to take care of?”
She directed a cold gaze at me while digging deeper into my mutterings.
“By the way, you seemed to be lamenting becoming a detective? If you thought about it a little, you’d realize how tough it would be…”
Ah, this isn’t digging deeper—it’s a lecture.
To the exasperated Koyomin, I lined up excuses like a child.
“Well, detective stories were popular back then, right? And I thought if I could read people’s minds, I could catch criminals left and right and it’d be a piece of cake, right? It’s simplistic, but then I figured I’d become famous and appear on TV with sponsors and become the person of the moment and make big money!”
“But reality wasn’t so sweet… is that it?”
“Exactly! Damn it all!”
I couldn’t help but bark at her single comment.
Yes, like the recent incident! Even if you know who the culprit is, if you don’t know the crucial evidence, there’s nothing you can do.
Thanks to that, I’m forced to undergo the ordeal of racking my brain—my truly non-existent brain—and using every trick in the book to track down evidence. Getting the culprit to bring up topics that make them think about their tricks in their head, sometimes even making the culprit look for flaws in their own tricks… It feels like being a variety show MC trying to handle uncooperative talent, and honestly it’s exhausting.
Furthermore, detective work isn’t just about incidents—there’s adultery investigations, finding cats, finding people… The glamorous detective life you see in novels and anime was nowhere to be found.
“Detective work has less glamour than I thought…”
To my complaints, Koyomin showed her exasperation with a sigh.
“Detective work isn’t something you should aspire to become, is it? You should do proper research beforehand—you’re an idiot after all.”
“Are you my mother?! Or wait, my little sister?!”
Koyomin’s eyes conveyed “I’m not your little sister,” and man, that’s a piercing gaze. You could charge money from people who are into that sort of thing.
While I was admiring her, Koyomin hit me with even more sound logic.
“If you can read minds, aren’t there other ways to make money?”
“I thought about it too, in my own stupid way! Yes! For example, mahjong—if you can read minds, mahjong would be invincible, right? So then—”
“You couldn’t memorize the rules, right?”
“How did you know!? Did you read my mind!?”
“……”
Expressionless, Koyomin let out an exaggerated sigh.
“Haah… In the end, I’m the one finding the cats and people, so what exactly is an assistant supposed to be?”
“So you think you’re more of a detective! I won’t give up the director’s seat at Oba Detective Agency!”
“I don’t want it.”
Koyomin’s immediate response. Ugh, I look like an idiot for being so insistent. Embarrassing.
Guh, at this rate my “dignity” as director is at stake… Here I must assert that “I’m working hard too.”
“I’m working hard too! Since I can read minds, I’m good at adultery investigations! Even though I end up learning about the affair partner’s backstory and love entanglements that I don’t want to know about!”
“True, Kanako is better at those kinds of investigations. Hey there, adultery specialist detective.”
“Please, anything but specialist.”
But seriously, adultery investigations are torture for a mind-reading detective. The heads of people having affairs are full of vivid scenes they recall and self-serving excuses—it’s sickening.
“It really hurts this pure maiden’s heart… Hmm?”
—Thud thud thud… SLAM!
While we were having this exchange, the office door opened with a tremendous bang.
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