Romcom Pattern of Month B
Month B, Day ○
I felt like my entire class was a bit restless all day today. However, that’s to be expected. After all, the so-called “Golden Week” long holiday begins tomorrow.
Everywhere in the classroom, flowers of conversation were blooming about plans to hang out or how many hours people were going to sink into gaming. I am no exception; in fact, there’s no denying that I am looking forward to this break many times more than in previous years.
Why, you ask? Because I have a “guaranteed rom-com unit” around me: the Rom-com Protagonist (my personal label) who sits enthroned in the seat next to me, Akira Sakakibara, and the Rom-com Heroines (my personal label) who surround him, Ai Takashiro and Dorothy Shironami. Plus, we have the Friend Character (my personal label), Kosuke Sasaki. A long holiday is packed with the kind of situations that are indispensable for the early stages of a rom-com.
For example: a heroine invites the protagonist on what is essentially a date, or the protagonist and a heroine run into each other by chance in the city and it turns into a date by default, or a group outing leads to a sudden moment where two people end up alone and get all flustered. A long holiday provides more than enough triggers for “Rom-com-ing.”
I want to see those rom-com-esque moments with my own eyes. I have enough confidence to use pretty much any means necessary to make it happen. You could call it a “iron will.”
Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—Takashiro and Shironami spent the entire day trying to invite Sakakibara, but in the end, they couldn’t muster the courage and said nothing. In other words, as of right now, no “flags” have been raised. They’ll probably invite him on a date via social media once he gets home, but I won’t be able to see that directly, so it’s not ideal. Writing this in my diary, I realize my train of thought is pretty “out there,” but I’ve decided not to care.
In an attempt to accelerate the rom-com, I made a proposal after school: “Why don’t we all go hang out during the holidays?”
The first to bite were Sakakibara, Takashiro, and Shironami. Just as expected. Sakakibara is generally easygoing, and if he says “sounds good,” the other two will follow suit. I felt like a fisherman. A big catch! A big catch!
Surprisingly, the one who didn’t bite was Sasaki. Thinking about it for a moment, the reason was obvious: he wasn’t in the mood to tag along while Sakakibara hogged all the girls. He didn’t put it into words, but I figured it out from his expression and the situation. However, the “Friend Character” is also an essential element of a rom-com. So, I played my “God Move.”
“Since we’re at it, why don’t we invite Umihara too?”
Umihara, also known as Sei Umihara. During our overnight training trip, they had lunch together, and she and Sasaki seemed to be getting along quite well. As planned, Sasaki regained his spirit and immediately went to invite her. So simple. For me, as long as I get to see a rom-com, I’m satisfied, though I did find myself thinking it would be interesting if Umihara entered the “Heroine Race” too. Forgive me, Sasaki.
With Umihara’s consent, our party of six (including me) was assembled. At this point, Sakakibara—perhaps trying to be helpful in a weird way—asked if we should invite the Student Council President. It seems that ever since I used the President’s name to dodge a topic about “girls I like,” Sakakibara and Sasaki have been under the misunderstanding that I have a crush on her. Moreover, because he brought this up in front of the heroines, the girls now seem to be sharing the same misunderstanding.
I replied to Sakakibara’s prompt with: “It’s true that more people would be fun, but I’d feel bad inviting a senior who’s preparing for entrance exams.” Sorry, Sakakibara. I love watching rom-coms, but I have no desire to be in the middle of one myself. Please, go ahead and be troubled as you enjoy your youth to the fullest (utter scum).
After many twists and turns, the destination was decided: an amusement park a bit of a distance away. The proposer was Sasaki. He gave various reasons like having coupons or it being cheaper if we booked passes now, but I suspect the real reason was “it’s easy to split off into pairs.” He probably wants to be alone with Umihara. He’s really trying hard…
With no objections, we set the date and disbanded for the day. I’ve only been to an amusement park a few times when I was little, but my interest doesn’t lie in the park itself.
In a sense, an amusement park is the perfect location for observing a rom-com. Because of the crowds, it’s easy to move around undercover. It’s the ideal spot to secretly watch Sakakibara and the others. In that sense, I should perhaps be grateful to Sasaki. The love story of a Friend Character is also a necessary spice for a rom-com, so I’ll cheer him on in my heart. For now, I’ll find my binoculars and go to sleep.
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Month B, Day △
The day of the amusement park. Having successfully found my binoculars, I slung on a bag packed with essentials like my wallet and water bottle and headed to the meeting spot. I left with plenty of time to spare, but Sasaki was already there when I arrived. He had dark circles under his eyes. I could tell he had been looking forward to this immensely.
About five minutes later, the “Prince,” Sakakibara, arrived with a flower in each hand—no, a Castle in each hand (Takashiro and Shironami). Sasaki was projecting “male jealousy” with bloodshot eyes, but I was busy debating whether to call the situation of having two “Shiros” (Castles) a “Double Castle” or a “Twin Castle,” so I don’t actually remember much of the conversation here. When I casually mentioned this to Sasaki, he said, “Your naming sense is… unique.” I don’t get it.
Finally, Umihara arrived, looking a bit dressed up. It turns out she’s the type who puts effort into her outfits. Sasaki’s face turned red as he showered her with praise, and Sakakibara looked surprised too. I was also quite surprised, but because my face doesn’t change expression easily, I apparently looked like I had “no reaction,” which made Umihara look a little disappointed. While I felt strangely apologetic, my brain had already switched to “Rom-com Observation Mode,” and that feeling vanished instantly.
After a bus ride, we arrived safely at the park. We paid for our pre-booked passes and entered the amusement park with dignity. At first, we just enjoyed the park normally: roller coasters, teacups, go-karts, etc.
In the go-karts, it turned into a race involving everyone. Sasaki, whose driving technique was surprisingly sharp, took 1st place; Sakakibara took 2nd. Umihara was 3rd. Takashiro and Shironami, who aren’t used to driving things, were 5th and 6th. I was 4th. I gave it my all but ended up right in the middle. Dammit.
Then at noon, we had lunch and decided to go our separate ways for a while. The proposer, of course, was me. While staying together to look for rom-com opportunities was an option, based on the morning’s results, there was a risk we’d just end up enjoying the park together as a normal group. Normally that would be fine, but today I am not here to play; I am here to observe.
When I tentatively said I wanted to go look at souvenirs, the “Twin Castles” (Takashiro and Shironami) seemingly saw this as their chance and spirited Sakakibara away, while Sasaki went off for a food tour with Umihara. Hehehe. I felt like I was being naturally excluded, but it was convenient. Thinking back on it now makes me a little sad, though.
As planned, I secretly followed the Sakakibara group, and as expected, I witnessed various rom-com situations. When one would try to create a good atmosphere, the other would butt in; Sakakibara looked flustered yet gave a wry smile at the scene. This is it—this is a Harem Rom-com. This sight is exactly why I came to the amusement park. I watched the scene through my binoculars from a distance.
The most memorable moment was when the three of them bought different crepes, and Takashiro and Shironami both tried to do the “Ahhn” (feeding him) at the same time. Being approached by two beautiful girls from the front simultaneously seemed to have an effect on him; Sakakibara’s face was red the whole time. Good, do it more.
Once I was sufficiently satisfied, I took a detour back to the meeting spot—a cafe—to ensure they didn’t realize I had been following them.
When I returned, Umihara had already arrived. Sasaki was nowhere to be seen, so I asked her about him. Apparently, he got too fired up, ran ahead, and got swallowed by the crowd and lost. Pathetic.
I spent the time chatting with Umihara until the others arrived. Come to think of it, I had hardly ever spoken to her before. It was then that I realized for the first time that she is the type who is friendly and easy to talk to.
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